Mindset
We just celebrated Father’s Day this past weekend. Or should I say, many of us did.
Some celebrated their own father’s, others celebrated being a father as well.
My father passed many years ago, and to be honest, my relationship with my Dad was not a strong one.
My Dad was a great provider, he did his job as the job description was told to him. That’s all he knew.
But he was a good father just the same.
I hold no resentment for our relationship, it simply was what it was.
But it also set the table for my own wrestling match with fatherhood. For a long time, it just wasn’t a likely thing. I went through several relationships and marriages without its contemplation.
I didn’t yearn for the opportunity, I didn’t seek its fulfillment.
When I met my wife at almost 40, something began to change. I began to feel like it was something I wanted to know about myself, something I should experience, especially with this woman. She was the right partner for this new horizon.
I had no idea what it meant, or what it would mean. I just knew it was something I could see myself doing.
And then in a moment, from one day to the next, I went from oblivious to engulfed. I went from nothing to something in a heartbeat.
For a closet control freak, becoming a father was an overwhelming experience. Welcome to the firehose called life.
Being a father is the greatest responsibility one could ever imagine.
You have to get up in the middle of the night, there is no option not to do so. There is no get out of JAIL free card, no chance to do over. All of a sudden, you realize this is here to stay, and you are in charge of this little being’s life, a life that depends on you.
No matter how you feel that day, no matter how well slept, no matter how empty of energy, no matter how much money you might not have, you must deliver.
Suddenly you realize, unlike most anything else in your life, you can’t walk away from it, you can’t pretend it doesn’t exist, you can’t forget about it.
But why would you want to anyway?
It’s a responsibility I cherish deeply. I GET to be a Dad, and it’s the greatest honor and privilege I could have ever imagined.
Becoming a father made me a better man, forced me to change in ways I would not have changed without her influence, and made me think about things differently.
It tugs at your heartstrings, pulls on your strength, and pushes you to the limits sometimes. But all of this leads to unimaginable growth. If you give way to it, you explore parts of you that you never knew existed. Parts you later lean on for so many other challenges that undoubtedly come along.
You realize when you become a father that you really can do anything, and you really do know nothing.
It’s humbling indeed.
Most importantly for me, I get to be Gretchen’s Dad.
My daughter is an incredible human, and I know I am biased, but she’s a wonderful package of smart, funny, inquisitive, curious, caring, kind, and amazing! She makes me proud every day.
I see life differently since becoming a Dad. I feel different, I have a wonderful sense of purpose that wasn’t there before her.
And I know there is so much yet to come, so much more she will teach me.
Her mother gave her to me, and I am truly grateful. Thanks for choosing me to be Gretchen’s Dad <3
Happy belated Father’s Day to all the amazing dads out there.
