Perhaps, if you’re like most people, you often hear things like “you gotta hustle and grind” if you want to be successful.  

On the other hand, you might have heard people talking about the concept of life balance, the idea of ideal fulfillment, or the search for eternal happiness.

 The truth is, nothing is permanent.  Life ebbs and flows.

 There are good days and bad, empowering moments and difficult moments, times to hustle, and times to recover.

 If you live life with your foot on the gas pedal full time, you will at some point blow the engine, and that will express itself as burnout, depression, sickness, injury, or relationship issues. All of these things are symptoms of too much, too often, with no recuperation.

 No matter if it’s about how you work, how you workout, or how you socialize, it’s important for you to create an approach that actually allows you to achieve and recover.

A conceptual model for this approach I’ve titled “The Green, Yellow, Red Zone Strategy”.

 You can think of the Red Zone as going over the top, overreaching, going beyond your means, taking on more than you believe you can handle or feels right. 

Fundamentally, without overreaching, you just won’t grow.

 This is a fact of the physical, mental, emotional, and psychological spheres of our lives. Over-reaching stimulates or demands adaptation, your body, your brain, your physiology respond to increased stress, whatever that stress may be, by accommodating to it, building more capacity to handle that stress so that the next time you encounter such intensity you are ready and no longer challenged by that same level of stress.

 This is how we grow and get better at anything.

 Want to learn how to ride a bike? 

You have to lose your balance, wobble, fall a few times, catch yourself, all in an effort to accommodate and adapt. Slowly but surely your body recognizes when to zig when to zag, and voila, you are riding a bike. 

But, that then becomes pretty easy, so if you want to take it to another level, be able to handle, say some single-track mountain biking, well you need to try that now, and start all over with the wobbling, stepping off, crashing, or going completely ass over tea kettle!

 You want to run a business, make it successful?

 Red zone work means long days, big days of work, trying things, making mistakes, trying risky approaches, maybe even doing things people say you shouldn’t do, just because you have this “feeling”. In short, no red zone, no learning, no overreaching, no business. You will not succeed.

 But here’s where the shift in consciousness has to occur.  There are two other zones you need to recognize and live in from time to time so that all that accommodation and adaptation can take place.

 If you ride that mountain bike and you don’t pause to let your body absorb what it’s just learned, for a minute, for an hour, for a day, maybe even for several weeks, if you just keep trying and trying and trying, your body will either break, or you will cease to absorb the stimulus. 

You won’t get better, you might even get worse!

 Maybe you run a trail a little less difficult, one you are familiar with, or one you can manage well to negotiate, and in so doing your body starts to incorporate the adaptations. You start to manoeuver over and through things with just a little more confidence, you feel a sense of accomplishment and your body starts to go from that sympathetic flight or fight response you feel whenever you are on the edge, to a state of greater calm, one where you feel like you have to be on your game, but not on TOP of your game!

 This is Yellow Zone work. It’s still challenging, it still requires focus and intentional connection, but it isn’t requiring absolute and complete commitment every moment. This is the sweet spot of adaptation and regulation. The zone where you get to show off a bit, demonstrate that you know what you are doing, and do it really well. Gain confidence in your ability, demonstrate an ability to be in the game!

 You need to effectively allow yourself to live in this zone more frequently than you do. Seemingly these days, you are either all on, in the red zone almost constantly, or you are in the green zone trying to recover but doing a crappy job of it because you are too tired to actually engage in the green zone work.

 Yes, I said it, green zone work.

 Green Zone is the real recovery zone. Where you give yourself permission to just absorb life, tune in to yourself, be alone, sleep, read a book just for the pure escape of it, go for a walk, and think about……..nothing!

If you’re like most you likely pay limited mind to really resting. You are in the red zone all day, then you hit a self-imposed zone I call the brown zone. That’s the exhaustion zone. That’s the zone where we stare at the TV for an hour and forget what we watched. 

That’s the zone where you sit beside your loved one and pretend you are spending time together.

That’s the zone where you eat a pizza and chase it with a bowl of double fudge chocolate ice cream.

That’s the zone where you drink five glasses of wine and only realize when the bottle is empty! 

That’s the zone where your head hits the pillow with deep exhaustion, but seconds later won’t let you sleep because your brain won’t stop thinking shitty thoughts!

 The Brown Zone is the shit zone and it’s not something we create, it’s something we accept.

Brown zone is like drinking brown water, it isn’t very healthy!

Red zone, brown zone, red zone, brown zone, and thus the days flow on and on until we hit a wall.

 Heart attack!

 Loss of a loved one!

 Kids that misbehave!

 Divorce!

 Business fails!

 Lose all your money!

 And the list goes on.

 How do you build a Red, Yellow, Green Zone life?

 Consciously and consistently understanding what each one looks like, learning what they feel like, living in each one intentionally.

 The first thing you need to do is evaluate each day, consider what you do each day, apply a form of intensity monitor on each thing you do, recognize the redness of your actions.

Start learning what is truly green for you, intentionally engage in green lifestyle choices. Naps, meditation, reading, deep conversations, walks with no distraction, nutrition with impact. Begin to learn about these things.

 In the coming weeks, I will be writing more about the red, yellow, and green zone lifestyle, and how to do it right. Come back and visit, and we will grow together.

 No more running in the red, and flopping into the brown.

 Live life with intention, live it in the red, live it in the yellow and live it in the green!

 Own it!

Want to re-invent your life, or perhaps experience your life journey through a guided process?  

The next cohort of our amazing LYM Life Lab begins in May

Here’s a FREE Kickstarter to help you out, and let you see some of what we’ll be doing.

Password: LYMLab4U

We would love to have you with us.

I saw this post on the internet recently.  I thought it was a poignant share of the realizations of one of history’s great creatives.

As a man myself, turning 60 at the end of this year, the reflections and realizations of a lifetime are real.  When you reach this age, you know that you have less time on this earth than you’ve spent.

If you’re really lucky, you might get 40% of what you’ve experienced, and this realization is sobering, and thought provoking at the same time.

Charlie Chaplin is 26 in this photo.

He read this poem on April 16, 1959, on the occasion of his 70th birthday. 

I hope you find value in its words.

When I started loving myself

I understood that emotional pain and grief are signals warning me that I was living against my own truth.

Today, I know it’s called Authenticity.

When I started loving myself

I understood how much I could offend someone by trying to impose my desires on them knowing that it was not the right time and that person was not ready for it. And even when that person was none other than myself.

Today, I know it’s called Respect.

When I started loving myself

I stopped dreaming of another life and I could see that everything around me was inviting me to grow.

Today, I know it’s called Maturity.

When I started loving myself

I understood that I was always in the right place at the right time.

And I understood that everything that is happening is right.

From then on, I experienced deep peace.

Today I know it’s called Self-Confidence.

When I started loving myself

I rejected everything that was not healthy for me:

food, people, things, situations, anything that pulled me down and pulled me away from myself.

At first, I called it “healthy selfishness”, but today, I know it’s called Self-Love.

When I started loving myself

I stopped always wanting to be right,

and from then on I was less mistaken.

Today I understand that this is called Humility.

When I started loving myself

I stopped living in the past and worrying about my future.

Now I focus on my present, where everything takes place. 

So I live each day to the full and I call it Appeasement.

When I started loving myself

I recognized that my mind could make me sick.

I had therefore called for help from the forces of the heart, which my spirit welcomed as a valuable partner.

Today I call this connection Wisdom of the Heart.

We need not fear arguments, conflicts, and problems with ourselves and with others since even the stars sometimes collide and create new worlds.

Today I know, it’s called Life.

– Charlie Chaplin, a poem written ✍️ by Kim McMillen

Want to re-invent your life, or perhaps experience this journey through a guided process?  

The next cohort of our amazing LYM Life Lab begins in May

Here’s a FREE Kickstarter to help you out, and let you see some of what we’ll be doing.

Password: LYMLab4U

 

We would love to have you with us.

James Clear has written a book called Atomic Habits in which he describes four stages of habit formation and how they can be applied in coaching others to create new, more serving habits.

Even if you are not a coach, some of the thoughts in this blog will surely serve you in questioning the habits that serve, and the ones that don’t.

 

The four stages of habit formation are:

 

A Cue: The first stage of habit formation is the cue, which is a trigger that initiates the behavior. The cue could be something like a time of day, a particular location, a specific feeling, or an action that precedes the habit. In coaching, you can help individuals identify their cues and become aware of what triggers their current habits.

 

The Craving: The second stage of habit formation is craving, which is the motivational force behind the behavior. The craving is what drives the individual to act on the habit. In coaching, you can help individuals understand why they have a particular craving and what they hope to gain from the habit.

 

The Response: The third stage of habit formation is the response, which is the actual behavior or action that the individual takes in response to the cue and craving. In coaching, you can help individuals choose an appropriate response to their cues and cravings that aligns with their values and goals.

 

The Reward: The fourth and final stage of habit formation is the reward, which is the outcome or benefit that the individual receives from the behavior. The reward reinforces the habit and makes it more likely that the individual will repeat it in the future. In coaching, you can help individuals identify the rewards they receive from their current habits and help them create new, more serving rewards for their desired habits.

 

By understanding these four stages of habit formation, coaches can help their clients create new, more serving habits by identifying and addressing each stage, and so can you!

 

Coaches can help individuals identify their cues and cravings, choose an appropriate response, and create new, more serving rewards that will help reinforce the desired behavior. 

 

Additionally, coaches can help individuals develop strategies to overcome obstacles and maintain their new habits over time.

Here are some questions you can use to help discover what is holding your client’s or yourself back:

 

Cue: 

·  What triggers your current habit?

·  When do you find yourself engaging in the habit?

·  Are there any patterns or specific times when you tend to engage in the habit?

·  What emotions or thoughts precede the habit?

 

Craving:

·  What do you hope to gain from the habit?

·  How does the habit make you feel in the moment?

·  What emotions or thoughts are associated with the habit?

·  Is there a deeper need or desire that the habit is fulfilling?

 

Response:

 

·  What actions do you take in response to the cue and craving?

·  Are there any specific barriers or obstacles that prevent you from engaging in the desired behavior?

·  What specific steps can you take to create a more serving response to the cue and craving?

 

Reward:

 

·  What benefits do you currently receive from the habit?

·  Are there any negative consequences of the habit?

·  How can you create new, more serving rewards that align with your values and goals?

 

In addition to these questions, it can be helpful to explore your client’s beliefs and values around the habit, as well as any past experiences or traumas that may be contributing to the habit. By understanding your client’s motivations and barriers at each stage of habit change, you can better tailor your coaching to their individual needs and help them achieve lasting behavior change.

 

Further to his groundbreaking book, James Clear speaks publicly about the four stages using different words to describe the stages. 

 

He describes the stages in his presentation that you can find on YouTube (https://youtu.be/mNeXuCYiE0U) as;

1) Noticing

2) Wanting

3) Doing

4) Liking

 

While James Clear’s descriptions of the four stages of habit formation may use different words, they are still referring to the same underlying concepts as the previous four stages I mentioned earlier. I don’t see these descriptions as contrary positions, but rather as complementary ways of framing the same process.

 

For example, “Noticing” in Clear’s framework is analogous to “Cue” in the earlier framework. Both refer to the trigger or prompt that initiates the behavior. “Wanting” is similar to “Craving,” referring to the motivational force behind the behavior. “Doing” is similar to “Response,” referring to the actual behavior or action taken in response to the cue and craving. Finally, “Liking” is similar to “Reward,” referring to the outcome or benefit that the individual receives from the behavior.

 

By using different language to describe the four stages, Clear may be emphasizing different aspects of the habit formation process or appealing to a different audience. However, the underlying concepts are still the same, and both frameworks can be used effectively to help individuals create new, more serving habits.

 

Resistance is a concept introduced by Steven Pressfield in his book “The War of Art,” which refers to the inner force that holds us back from pursuing our goals and making positive changes in our lives. In my opinion, resistance can be a major obstacle to habit change or formation.

 

When we try to create new habits or break old ones, we often encounter resistance in the form of self-doubt, fear, procrastination, or other negative thoughts and emotions. This resistance can make it difficult to act and can cause us to revert back to our old habits, even if we know that they are not serving us.

 

In order to overcome resistance and create new, more serving habits, we need to develop strategies to manage our thoughts and emotions and take consistent action toward our goals. This might include setting specific goals, creating a plan of action, seeking support from others, and practicing self-compassion and self-care.

 

Additionally, it can be helpful to reframe our mindset around habit change and view it as a process of growth and self-improvement, rather than a task to be completed. 

 

By focusing on the positive benefits of our desired habits and reminding ourselves of our larger purpose and values, we can stay motivated and committed to our new habits, even in the face of resistance.

 

Overall, I believe that resistance is a natural and inevitable part of the habit change process, and learning to manage it effectively is crucial to creating lasting behavior change.

 

There are several symptoms or expressions of resistance that you may notice in yourself or your clients when trying to create new habits or make positive changes in your life. Here are some common signs of resistance to look out for:

 

• Procrastination: Putting off tasks or actions that are necessary to create the desired habit.

• Rationalization: Making excuses or justifying why it’s not the right time to create a new habit.

• Self-doubt: Feeling unsure of your ability to create a new habit or achieve your goals.

• Fear: Being afraid of failure or success or feeling anxious about the changes that creating the new habit might bring.

• Distraction: Getting easily sidetracked or allowing other tasks or activities to take priority over creating the new habit.

• Negativity: Focusing on the potential obstacles or challenges of creating the new habit rather than the benefits.

 It’s important to note that experiencing resistance is a normal part of the habit change process, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you or your client is doing something wrong. 

 

However, it’s important to be aware of these symptoms and to develop strategies to overcome them in order to make lasting changes.

 

When you or your client notice these symptoms of resistance, it can be helpful to take a step back and re-evaluate the underlying motivations and goals behind the desired habit. 

 

It may also be helpful to seek support from others, practice self-care and self-compassion, and break down the habit-creation process into smaller, more manageable steps. 

 

By being aware of the symptoms of resistance and developing strategies to manage them, you and your clients can stay on track and create lasting, positive changes in your lives.

 

Good luck with habit change!