There’s Always Going to Be a Bigger Boat

“While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” – Groucho Marx

One of the things I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older is that there is no point of arrival.  You don’t get to get there. There is no there, there!

We’re convinced early on in life that making goals and achieving things, getting things, and acquiring things are what you do, and that somehow, when you get to the pinnacle of this process, you will have arrived.

But there will always be a bigger boat, a better car, a nicer house, a better job, etc.

We love to watch voyeuristically the crisis and controversy of the rich and famous. Shows like Dallas and Dynasty in their day, and now Succession and Billionaire are our opportunity to live vicariously through the characters.  

And yet, would we want to live that life? The excentricities of wealth never seem to solve anyone’s problems; they seem to simply make them bigger.

Chasing the next thing is a never-ending race to nowhere. Always looking back at who’s chasing you, and always looking forward to the next thing, never being present in the now.

Should we have goals and objectives? 

It’s important to want to explore what is possible for yourself no matter what the chosen medium.  Just understand that the reward is to be found in the effort and self-exploration, not in the actualization. 

Life isn’t a game you are trying to win.  There is no winning formula or trophy.  When we make it about the trophy, then we get caught up in winning another trophy.

It’s all simply about growing and exploring what you are capable of imagining and creating.  And your imagination and creativity should never stop until the day you perish.

Size doesn’t matter, LOL.  

What matters is that you expect to be restless and interested in something else.  It’s normal to be dissatisfied with where you are now so that you dream of where you might want to be next, realizing that when you get there, you won’t appreciate being there, you’ll be looking elsewhere again.

It’s a normal human characteristic.  It’s what caused us to explore the world we live in.  It’s what inspired the great explorers.  But as they all realized, once you get where you planned to go, there’s somewhere else to get to next.

Your satisfaction and fulfillment can’t come from the false prophecy of arrival, it can only come from the effort and experience in trying.

You’ll save yourself a lot of money, time, and frustration if you stop focusing on getting it, and start focusing on being in it.

There is no there, there.

Remember

“No matter what happens in life, be good to people. 

Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”

– Taylor Swift

Does legacy matter? 

It’s an interesting question.

Having spoken to hundreds of people on the podcast over the last seven years, and many more throughout my life, I can say there’s no consensus on this question.

For some, the idea of leaving a legacy is the essence of their existence.

For others, it matters not one iota. Or at least the notion that this is their purpose is something never pondered or considered.

But even though it’s not necessarily the focus or the raison d’etre of someone’s life, most of us, either consciously, or subconsciously in the deep recesses of our minds want to make a difference.

We want to matter.

Taylor Swift’s quote to begin this blog is quite poignant.  Legacy isn’t always about leaving knowledge, possessions, or a physical imprint. It’s often simply about your effect on others.

Being good to others is a wonderful point of embarkation for legacy.  Simply being remembered by others for how you treated them is an impact of great value.

How would you like others to remember you?  

You might not care right now, but you’ll most likely care as the days of your life begin to count down.  Having witnessed the descent of my mother’s health most recently, I can tell you that you don’t always get to choose how you will go, or what you’ll be able to do in your dying days.

The time to make peace is now, not then.  The time to define how you will be remembered is now, even if it doesn’t seem to matter now.

That doesn’t mean you have to have some bold objective, it simply means you carry yourself with a commitment to character and an honest effort to do right by those who you encounter.

You won’t actually know you’ve achieved it.  Legacy is an afterthought, not tangible to us in practice, only understandable by those who have been touched.

You are sewing seeds in a garden you’ll never see.

But wouldn’t it be nice to know it’s a garden worth talking about?

Does legacy matter?

I think it does.

Remember

“In Flanders Fields, the poppies blow. Between the crosses row on row. That marks our place, and in the sky, the larks still bravely singing fly, scarce heard among the guns below.” John McCrae

What did the men and women of the great generation fight for?

Why did so many give their lives, often without question, to the mission of the moment?

They were scared and did not know what awaited them on the other side of an ocean’s journey, but they went despite their uncertainty and trepidation.

The call of duty.

What required such sacrifice on the part of so many?

Numerous fascist regimes had taken power over their people and had decided to extend their power over the territories and belief systems of neighbors. Extending borders and taking land uninvited and unimpeded.

Indifference had been the nemesis of those who ignored the coming of such peril.  Many, until it was in their face, could go about their business unaffected by the perils of those unknown.

Why worry about someone else’s problem?

Hitler and Mussolini promised their citizenry prosperity and a return to greatness, and they delivered until they did not.

We should be careful when the illusion of prosperity deludes the factors that conspire to create it.

The facade of such totalitarianism eventually cracked and crumbled under the forces of those who would not acquiesce, but only after so much loss of life.

Young men and women at the zenith of their lives turned to dust in resistance to the forces of evil.

With the effects of the Great Depression on Japan’s economy, and impressed by the rise of the military-led authoritarian governments of Germany and Italy, Japan also chose to explore its regime of conquest.

Unfortunately, an isolationist sentiment of much of the American public stalled any resistance other than imposed sanctions. Only when attacked did the full extent of the power of America’s complete dedication to resistance rain retribution upon the axis of evil.

Once again, at the cost of so many.

In remembering, we should not forget that many lives were lost, and much human tragedy occurred until all who stood to lose their freedom awoke from their slumber and joined the effort.

The lessons learned are easily forgotten in time.  Forgotten is the ignorance that allowed such evil to perpetuate itself unchecked and unfettered.

Forgotten is that many would have continued to ignore the spectacle were it not for the audacity of these regimes and their belief that they could reach wherever they pleased, do whatever they pleased, and no one would stop them.

There was great darkness before there was light.  Many lost before it would end.

“Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference….

.…and the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

Elie Wiesel

On this day of remembrance, do not just remember those lost in times of war and their great sacrifice.

Remember that much of what they sacrificed could have been avoided perhaps by the simple act of our attention.

Stand up for what you believe.

Be ready to support others in such a cause.

Pay attention, not ignorance.

Always strive to elevate your character.

Pursue a worthy ideal.

Today, we remember.

Tomorrow let’s not regret, let’s strive to do better.

#LestWeForget

“There is a virtue in work and there is virtue in rest, use both to overlook neither.”  – Alan Cohen

How do you find rest?

Is it in the white space of time unoccupied by toil, or the toil unoccupied by rumination?

Many of us avoid the concept of rest as one might envision it….nothing to do and without guilt.

Mostly because we feel guilt!

Or some derivative therein.  

When we take time off, time away from the toil of work, or other responsibilities, our mind begins to play havoc on our gift.

Are we so deserved? Shouldn’t we be doing something? What about that thing that still isn’t done?

No rest of the wicked, and wicked are we who would choose to rest.

But rest isn’t a void, it’s an opportunity to release.  A void infers there is unused space and immediately requires fill.

Opportunity infers a choice to not be bothered, a choice to think freely and imagine, or create.  Rest isn’t about doing nothing, it’s about doing something you need to explore free of the responsibility of stuff!

Real rest isn’t what you have been sold it to be. Going on vacation, and managing all that comes with travel or transition.

Spa sessions and massages.

Real rest can be had right in front of you if you permit yourself.

That’s the key, can you permit yourself to not give a S*&t?

The FEAR acronym prevails, False Expectations Appearing Real.

We cloud our mind at rest with that which we fear, expecting it’s all just our imagination gone wrong.

Rest is allowing your mind to imagine gone right.

We must train ourselves to rest, it doesn’t come naturally. It’s a learned skill.

Start with permitting yourself.

Then imagine anything you want.