Mindset
How often do you find yourself answering this question; “How are you doing?”
“Busy.”
Or how often does someone you’re reconnecting with say that as well?
Or maybe we say, “All good, busy, but good.”
It’s become the default response. No one tells you how they are doing, that would take too much time, and you wouldn’t care to hear it all either, right?
We ask the pleasantry question, “How are you doing?” because it ticks all the boxes, it says we care, it says we want to know about you, and it says hello all in one fell swoop.
But the truth is we don’t care, we don’t want to know about the person in this immediate conversation, and we want to most likely get to the point of the interaction.
Worse still is the fact that the person we are talking to says they’re busy because that’s a better response than, I’m down, I’m depressed, I’m tired, I’m burnt out, or I’m happy, I’m doing great, I’m excited. All of these statements kind of lead to a response from you, like further elaboration is required.
I’m busy kind of hits you in the face and says all at once, I’ve got a lot on my plate, I’m overwhelmed, and you need to be succinct and focused in your response to me. Don’t waste my time, and I won’t waste yours.
Still further challenging is the fact that it’s true. Most people these days are completely overwhelmed with work and trying to achieve the dream.
How many times have you gotten in an UBER in the last year and spoken to someone who is doing UBER as a third job during the day to make ends meet?
How often are you running into friends who have so many plates spinning, you can’t imagine how they keep them all in the air?
How many plates are you spinning?
Life today is frenetic, and on top of it, the social media gods have decided that if we are not busy enough, they will fill all our extra time with useless scrolling.
Even with all of that, our business has become a badge of honor. We default to this language because we don’t want people to think we aren’t busy. God forbid we would have it all together, not be busy, but somehow be successful in everyone else’s eyes by luck. Luck isn’t acceptable, it’s gotta be earned!
We think that being busy is a precursor to being successful. Success is defined sociologically by what you can accomplish, what you can get done, how much you can take on. Get after it, right!
As I’ve shared in the past, I like the Nightengale quote, “Success is the pursuit of a worthy ideal.”
It’s all about the intent, the expression, the connection to purpose, and the worth while effort. It’s not about how much effort, the intensity, or the occupation with it, it’s simply about pursuing in a way that allows me to feel it, own it, live it.
For me, the pursuit of a worthy ideal; challenging convention, creating change and inspiring others through the work and life I live is my success.
These days, when someone asks me how I am, I usually say; “My life is good, it’s full and it’s rich.”
I am content and joyful in my work, and I do have time to think, explore, and reach.
How can you be a better responder?
Most likely the solution will be found in your sense of purpose. Are you living the way you love, or the way you feel you have to?
A worthy question for all of us.
