Mindset
What Does it Mean to Be Friends?
“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”
– Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States
I can’t speak for everyone, but friendship is a truly special part of being human.
You choose your friends, you don’t choose your family. You get to experience things with friends, and decide if the experience is a good one, or a bad one, and if you want to keep experiencing with them, or just move on.
You don’t have to be friends, you choose to be friends.
Some friends are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. We don’t always know when a friendship will dissolve or change, but the ones that we really cherish and value, well they seem to always cycle back into our lives.
Those are the friendships that when you see the person again, it’s like time never passed. You are right back where you were last, and you are talking about everything and anything.
They know you, and you know them, despite the time that has passed.
The friendship between Canada and the United States could easily be described in this same construct. Settled by similar people and countries, pre-populated by rich indigenous cultures, these two countries constructed themselves on very different paths.
One country adapted and adopted the heritage and cultural differences of its forefathers, creating a rich hybrid of those two nations even though it caused great struggle and challenge throughout its history.
The other, created a new republic, preferring to distance itself from the roots of those who came to these new lands, in so doing creating the fabric of what would one day be a place much of the world looked up to and admired.
The War of 1812 between the US and Great Britain with the colony of Upper Canada was the last time these two would-be friends collided. A scuffle now mostly forgotten by most, it wasn’t at the time.
But since that time, these two countries, as they self explored, and reiterated themselves always looked at each other as friends. At times quite close, and at others rather distant. But friends just the same.
We could fight our battles with one another on the field, or at the ice rink. We got pretty good at giving each other a slap every so often in an international sporting event.
But when serious harm came to one of us, a hurricane of drastic proportion, ice storms, or wildfires, we were always there for each other. Geopolitical entanglements usually require our collaborative investment. We mostly saw eye to eye.
Just like friends in a schoolyard, when a scrap ensued, we knew what side we would side with, and despite our size, we Canadians always found a way to support our much bigger and stronger buddies.
We don’t get up after the fight and talk about equity. I beat three guys, and you just got one. We just understand we do right by being there for each other.
Have we had our disputes?
Of course, what friends haven’t had their moments. But like most friends, we dust off, recognize where we went wrong, and figure out a way to re-invent our relationship.
When we win the hockey game, we still shake hands.
Friendship, after all, is the only thing that will really hold the world together. Some friendships are stronger than others, some more like acquaintances than real friends.
That’s not the US and Canada.
I guess that’s what makes this moment in history much harder to fathom or imagine. It’s not what we do. We might scrap with each other from time to time, but we don’t do it to harm one another, more like brothers, we do it to remember where we stand.
Together.
Nothing about our differences and challenges can’t be discussed or negotiated, but it seems despite that truth, right now, there is no choice in the matter.
We are not together in the schoolyard, but looking at each other as though we’ve suddenly become enemies…….
The schoolyard is not a safe place, and yet here we find each other walking alone.
All I can say is, why?
And I can’t seem to answer that question.
It’s like your best friend doesn’t want to talk to you anymore, they just want to yell at you and call you names. WTF is going on?!
There are definitely seasons in life, sometimes things look pretty bleak in the winter, and then one wonderful spring morning, all is forgotten.
I find myself hoping this IS just a season.
