These days, it would seem that it’s even more important to connect with quality life principles.  

Everywhere I look there seems to be a fracture in the foundation of human nature.  We’ve always looked toward our sociological leaders to provide examples of how to treat one another, but this just isn’t the case anymore, they are too consumed with what has become the “strategy” for having influence.

Being bombastic, controversial, or an absolutist sells, so why not join the wave.

We need to double down on a moral compass.  Be examples of what it is to be a partner in society, not a destroyer of society.

The first principle I believe in is to work without complaint. Most people these days perceive that a job, or even better, a career is a right. 

Unfortunately for a great deal of the population of this world, a job that pays them a reasonable and sustainable wage is something they might only dream of, not expect. 

So if you have one, understand that it is a privilege and that the person you work for, or the person who buys your services has provided you with the privilege of serving them. Do it with all you have, and do it like you know it might not be there tomorrow.

The second principle; be gracious and thankful to your parents for bringing you into this world and providing you with a home (that is if they did so, for all those of you who lived tortured lives at home, this one might not be applicable). If your parents brought you up with whatever semblance of structure and provision, and they loved you as best they could, you owe them everything you have to honor their effort. They did the best they could as you are, or may likely do with your own children. Any parent knows it is not an easy task, and it doesn’t come with a playbook!

The third principle is to mentor someone else. We all get to summit our own mountain in life not by the sheer effort of ourselves, but by embracing the support and guidance of so many along the way. Without mentorship, we would likely make too many mistakes to ever achieve our summit. As such, it is our responsibility to mentor others so they may likely summit as well.

The fourth principle is to learn and grow throughout your life. Never stop learning, never stop challenging your thought processes, your habits, or your biases. Those who rest easy, those who take the easy route and do the same thing, do not earn the right to prosper or succeed. 

This life we have been given is a blank canvas and we can paint the picture, we can revise the picture, we can add to it and modify it until such time as we pass away so we should never be satisfied with its composition.

The fifth principle is own your contribution to this world. When you give, you grow, when you take, you self limit. Our life on this planet is about our contribution, it is all we can leave, and it is all that can represent what we have accomplished.

There will be people who take advantage of our contributions. There will be those who do not appreciate what we bring. That is not the point. We cannot live through another’s state of mind; we can only be in charge of our own state of mind which must be driven from a sense of giving, not receiving.

The last principle is to be a lighthouse.  Exemplify something, inspire something, make others believe in something.  Not in judgment but in expression.  Whatever you choose to be or do, do it so that it raises other people up.  If we have more lighthouses, we’ll have a greater feeling of connection and compassion in society as a whole.  

Bring meaning to your life.

Wake up every day and earn this life you have been given.

There is nothing trivial about the blessing of our life, never rest easy that it has been earned.

I had this epiphany recently that the lynchpin for successful organizations or teams is the absence, or removal of doubt.

If you’ve ever had the chance to watch the Academy Award winning movie, “Saving Private Ryan”. This concept is on full display in this movie. (Spoiler alert, should you wish to watch it still, you might want to stop reading now)

Shortly after the movie begins and you’ve been introduced to the raison-d’etre for saving private Ryan, you find yourself watching the D-Day landing.  

It’s possibly 20 minutes of the most intense movie reality ever created, but the essence is that this band of brothers is brought together during a beach landing on the coast of France, and the indiscriminate human attrition caused by unrelenting German machine gun fire.

From this carnage is selected a Captain (played by Tom Hanks) and a small group of disparate soldiers to find the last of four brothers who is possibly alive somewhere in Europe, and bring him home to his grieving mother.

From the beginning of this quest the seeds of doubt are palpable.  

Some of the men see the mission as admirable and important, others believe it to be a mistake, a misuse of their purpose.  They are, after all,  there to beat the Germans, not to save one soldier.  They all have mothers, why is this kid’s mother any more important?

Doubt creates micro-fractures in the mission of the team.

In the background of the new found comradery of the group is the familiarity of some of the soldiers with their Captain, Miller.  They believe in him.  

They also have a running bet on discovering what the Captain’s identity was as a civilian, almost as if he is an enigma, born not of the normal man, but as this special warrior with whom their confidence rests.

As the mission progresses, doubt becomes more prevalent. Close calls, and finally the loss of a brother in a seemingly flawed moment of heroics leaves the group further questioning the senselessness of the mission.

This dissonance rises and bubbles within the squad, finally reaching a crescendo in a seemingly senseless side mission to take out an errant Nazi artillery bunker that results in the loss of their company medic.

The stench of doubt permeates the air around the men, distracted by their own physical altercations, each contemplating their next steps, none clearly focused on the task at hand. The mission to save private Ryan rests perilously on the edge of a cliff.

Recognizing that he must clear the air of doubt and redouble the belief of his men, Captain Miller calls the bet.  “How much is the pool up to……$300?”, he exclaims. 

Then, for everyone to hear, he professes that he was a simple grade school teacher, English composition……..not the single minded killing machine he has been crafted to assume. He is no different than they, no less fearful of the result.

He just knows he can not doubt the purpose, their fate rests upon the confidence in this belief.

In this single expression, this moment of vulnerability, he reinvents their belief, and dispenses with their doubt.  They may be scared and confused, but they have no doubt about their purpose.  They are singularly connected in the mission to find and save private Ryan.

The rest of the movie finds them in a chance encounter with Ryan, who will not leave his company.  He will not abandon his brothers.  They are once again faced with the reinvention of their mission, and the complete immersion in their faith.

This new band of brothers responds to the leadership and belief of the Captain, and an intense and complete commitment through the loss of many of their lives, to protect an important bridge, and to see Ryan reunited with his mother.

They give their lives for the mission to beat the Nazis, saving Private Ryan in turn so he may live his.  

Captain Miller’s final words on the brink of his own passing are, “James, earn this……”

Each man has overcome the doubt, and realized the fate of their circumstances. The mission has been achieved.

Doubt is the rust that slowly erodes the strength of even the most solid structures.

In a sports team environment, at the beginning of a season, if athletes arrive with a sense of doubt, and that doubt is not extinguished with the confidence of the organization, coaches, and other athletes, doubt will slowly unravel the fabric of the mission.

In a corporate environment, team members who aren’t on board, and don’t believe in the direction or the mission will fan the flames of doubt.  

The only solution is the expression of both confidence and vulnerability in a shared leadership that is necessary for all to realize that there are no guarantees, but there is clearly one direction.

If you lead, coach,  or manage teams, understanding where doubt begins and ends will be the silent secret of your success or failure.

Look for it, and overturn it through your own faith, confidence, and vulnerability.

We are fast becoming a head down, disconnected, distracted, and overwhelmed humanity.

These amazing Apps designed to serve many purposes, often referred to as social media because the intent of their design is for the subscriber to be more connected to their social community, have resulted in the opposite effect. 

Un-social media!

People struggle with the concept these days of actually having undistracted conversation with one another. We are less deeply and personally connected than we have ever been, and we seem to grow more disconnected by the day.

Communication has always been one of our weaknesses as a whole, because we tend to come into communication with all sorts of bias filters that define our perspective in conversation (and thus our reactions good or bad), and we also love to talk about ourselves or hear ourselves more than we like to hear the person across from us. 

So now that we don’t have to talk to one another face to face, we are choosing more and more not to talk to one another at all!

We are fast becoming textologists, tweeters, Instagramaholics, snapchatters, and Facebookies to name a few. Swipe right, swipe left. Imogi, bitmoji and x-mojis are consuming our lives.

There is plenty of new research out on the effects of social media on our physiology. The reactions of our hormonal system making tweets and texts and all that instant messaging like an addictive drug to our system, creating the similar dopamine responses as seen with the use of the likes of sugar or cocaine! 

We are fast becoming addicted to this un-social media and it seems we are paralyzed, even socialized away from stopping it.

So what should we do?

Here are a few strategies for the use of social media that might possibly help it serve YOU rather than control YOU!

Make a business of social media. 

Use social media in every, and any form to create and deliver business strategies. If you are going to be using it regularly you might as well have it serve you in a way that it provides or results in revenue. There are a myriad of ways to use social media to drive your business ventures and using it in this manner makes a great deal of sense. Make it work for you, not against you.

Plan social media. 

Create your daily schedule for using social media. Instead of reacting to it, or allowing yourself to be attached to it constantly throughout your day, decide what times of the day make sense for you to check it and respond to it. Train your friends and colleagues to expect your responses within that schedule, and not immediately upon their text or message to you.

Social media is unfortunately self perpetuating, you send a text, you expect one back, your friend expects another response and on and on, the less immediately forthcoming the less expectations are brought to bear, and the less anchored you are by those expectations.

Even when you are using it for the practicality of organization or planning, when you’ve completed the task, or connected with the person you are meeting with face to face, then put it away. Focus on the human connection, not the digital connection.

Don’t check social media when you wake up or before you go to bed. 

When you wake up, do things that help you prepare for your day. Breath, stretch, meditate, journal, script your day, make a good breakfast, connect with family, whatever it is, stay away from your social media until your day is well on its way. 

When you do connect with it, respond to the necessary notes and move on with your day. Don’t get linked into useless conversations from the day before that are likely not productive, or valuable.

When you are working your way  towards sleeping, shut your media off long before bedtime. 

A good rule of thumb would be an hour before you plan to sleep. Take the time to wind down, disconnect with all media, read a book, breath, meditate, or journal about the positive things you experienced in your day.

Turn your phone off in meetings. 

If you are having a meeting with someone, actively shut your phone down or put it in a place, like a briefcase, purse, or backpack so it is out of sight and out of mind. Don’t leave it on the table as that just tells the person you are meeting with that the phone could be more important than them. Take the time to listen intentionally to the party you are meeting with, you’ll be surprised how valuable and productive your meetings become when you are not distracted.

Keep your phone in your pocket when you’re out for dinner with a friend or family member. 

Take the time to really connect with the people you are out with, after all, if you are constantly on your phone all you are saying to the person you are with is that whoever you are chatting with on the phone is more important than them, and that shouldn’t be the case, right?

Post less about things you are doing that are awesome, and more about things that might contribute to the growth or happiness of others. 

Use social media to serve others, not yourself, and you will be surprised how good you feel inside. Life is about your self-discovery and your contribution to others, the more you make your social media use serve this purpose, the more it will be a vehicle of value rather than a vehicle of ego.

This wonderful influx of technology that has allowed us to be connected to one another 24/7 needs to be shaped into our lives and defined by its purpose through our definition, not the definition of those who create it. 

We must be the gatekeepers of our time, and the time we have to connect to others in a real and personal manner must become more sacred and less disposable. 

Put un-social media in its place!

I once heard this great saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

Not that I advocate for eating elephants, we most assuredly need to protect these wonderful beasts.

But the idea of eating an elephant seems impossible, yet the only way to start, and to accomplish the feat is to dose it down to the simplest of terms. 

One bite at a time.

The feeling that something is insurmountable, or impossible, or just too much to accomplish stops so many of us.  We let the gravity of the accomplishment weigh us down, and so we do nothing instead of something.

That something is one thing.

One step, one action, one motion, one task, followed by another, and another, and another, and eventually the thing that seemed impossible is an image in your rearview mirror.

Someone shared a coaching approach they took with a client once to help them see past the impossibility of running a half marathon.

He said to his client, “I know you feel like running 21 Km’s is a big deal, how about you think of it this way, can you run one kilometer 21 times?”

The client looked at him curiously, and then exclaimed, “I can do that!”

Fait accomplice.

Sometimes you need to look back to recognize what you can accomplish.  

This past weekend I went back to my Alma Mater, Concordia University, specifically the Recreation and Athletics Department where my career really began.  

We were teaching our Reconditioning R1 Foundations course for the first time at Concordia since we began teaching the approach.

In 1990 I began working there as an Assistant Athletic Therapist and Lead Strength and Conditioning Coach.  At the time, I believe I was the first S+C coach hired full time at a major university in Canada.

It was just me and the head therapist, Ron Rappel.  We, along with a great group of students, covered and supported all the varsity athletes injuries and training.

We had an 800 square foot gym with limited equipment. 

Every year, because I had no budget, I ran two beer bashes we called the “Pump You Up Bash”, affectionately named after the Hanz and Franz skit on SNL drawn from the caricature of Arnold Schwarzeneggar and the Terminator.

The Terminator with a beer bottle in his hand instead of a gun would become the Pump You Up brand image, LOL.

Each bash would net me around $1500 and I would use that money to buy strength training equipment for the varsity program. By the time I left in 2009, we had a pretty loaded, but still small gym.

It was not only the first time university athletes were getting professional coaching, but very much the first time female athletes were getting introduced to off-court, off-ice, and off-field training.   Women’s sports were just beginning to legitimize their preparation.

Most certainly it was different in the States, but they were still way behind the men….the arms race for professionalization was beginning.

In the 90s I really witnessed the birth of women’s sports from women who simply played sports, to women who trained and lived sports. Women who aspired to create future leagues of their own.

This past week was so remarkable for so many reasons for me.  I watched the NCAA women’s basketball semi-final and final games shatter viewership records of some serious men’s sports events.  And watching them play was incredibly inspiring.

Then I watched the Canadian Women’s National Team win the World Championships in ice hockey witnessing an incredible escalation in the skills and physical abilities of these athletes.  I still remember the first women’s world championship, and the first Canadian women’s university championship events being inaugurated.  

Now to see and recognize that many of these women are playing in the Professional Women’s Hockey League! And the basketball women have been playing in their own pro league since 1997 which was the year before I left ConU to begin my career in the NHL.  And the women’s football/soccer world cup?! What  an incredible event!

Such incredible growth and change.

Segue back to teaching this past weekend. Here we were, standing in a room that used to be the gym, and now was a large varsity clinic, with a team of Athletic Therapists six strong, and one S+C coach who is part of a staff of four.  We were two, they are ten! Five of whom are women!!

The Lead S+C Coach is a former ConU women’s hockey team member, and a woman I introduced to strength training back in the mid-90s. So cool to see.

And there were three ATs from a clinic group in Montreal who’s founders were ATs and Reconditioning grads.  Made me think of all the great therapy and performance spaces operating here, and elsewhere who have been influenced by the practice of Reconditioning.

Had you told me 34 years ago as I began my career at Concordia, that this is what I would have to accomplish, and would be accomplished by so many others, I would not have believed it.

So inspiring!

But that’s how you eat an elephant……one bite at a time.

Don’t let the possible seem impossible.

A while ago I was having a good conversation on the podcast with Stuart McMillan.  Stu is a deep and philosophical thinker, well read, and interested in exploring the perspectives and ideas of those he encounters.

He’s also an entrepreneur at heart.

He likes to create, serve, and innovate, and he likes to collaborate with a select few respected colleagues.  

But he is also a bit of a loner, and he prefers to define his path, rather than follow someone else’s.

He’s been a sprints and performance coach for most of his career, but as you will experience in any one of the sessions we did together, he’s seen a lot and done a lot in his life, and it’s created many unique thought streams.

In this episode in particular he spoke to the differences between entrepreneurs who are motivated by the deal, or the win, versus those who are motivated by the sharing of an internal passion.

I was originally uncertain if this was an idea he manifested himself or adopted from his own readings, but I loved the metaphors of missionary and mercenary that he used to describe these two characters.

After some research, I’ve discovered that there have been others to share this thought stream, like Randy Komisar in his book, “The Monk and the Riddle – the art of creating life while making a living”

Randy’s book works through many of the challenges of the business world of silicon valley at the height of the .COM era, the endless VC deal making, and the challenges those in that industry lived to execute the deal and yet at a loss to feel a connection to fulfillment and inner contentment.

As I have experienced in business, especially for those who have grown from the industry of human performance, there are so many who work through a process of beginning as an employee in a position with an organization, then deciding that they want more autonomy, they often move into the world of solo-preneurship.

Solo-preneurship usually means you are the commodity, or you have a service or commodity for sale that you have created and are passionate about exposing to others so you can help them in some way.

When Stu and I spoke, he metaphorically referred to this person as the missionary.  What they are selling or serving is something that means something to them, and they believe it has value.  They believe it can be helpful for many people and they want people to know about what they have.

One of the problems with the missionary is that they are often attached to what they do, sell, or serve, and they don’t always see how it solves others issues. They believe in it, but they don’t know how to make others believe in it unless they can have their customer experience it, feel it, or live it.

They also find themselves challenged by the idea of the bottom line of business.  They will often subjugate their desire to have financial success because they don’t want to cause their customer or client any undue expense or challenge.  

Sometimes they find themselves stuck in the business. The business in some way is them, or a reflection of them, and they can’t actually remove themselves and look at it as a business.  The missionary compromises the profitability in favor of the sensibility of service.

This is the un-matured missionary.  

The more sensitized missionary discovers that the relationship between business success and servitude can be illusive, but it is attainable.  It just requires a longer and slower strategy with clarity of purpose, and a recognition of how one is truly serving the customer.

The mercenary on the other hand is the one driven by the deal, the opportunity, and most often the bottom line.  They don’t care so much about what they are selling or serving, just that it is something their customer wants, and it has a value that will obtain significant net gain. 

This is the characterization of the .COM VC described in Komisar’s book.

Mercenaries are often way better at being unemotional and tactical about their business decisions.  They make decisions that serve the win or the bottom line.  But they also understand the customer psyche, the problem they have that the mercenary can solve.  Mercenaries recognize that the success of a business rests on the ability of the founder to recognize a problem, find the solution, and sell it to the customer that needs it.

Mercenaries are often more comfortable with the word “sell”. Missionaries are challenged by this word.  It has a negative connotation, and leaves them with a feeling that they are taking advantage of their customer, or preying on them in some way.

The maturation process in business for the missionary is the recognition that making money, and selling what they do well, is not something shady or misleading, it is the nature of providing something that others value. When you have something valuable the customer will show you their valuation through the engagement of your time or product.

The shift from solo-preneur to entrepreneur happens when the missionary begins to learn about the bigger picture that the mercenary sees quite vividly.  But true success as an entrepreneur requires one to recognize that without profitability, the dream can not be sustained.

Earl Nightingale’s quote, “Success is a progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” is a wonderful belief system, but does it pay the bills?  This can be the most difficult question for the missionary to solve.

The missionary is hell bent on the realization of the worthy ideal, but often to the detriment of their financial viability.

The Mercenary often ends up lost or empty of real fulfillment. They compromise family, relationships, or character in order to execute the deal, and one day it all catches up to them. Or, they remain on the merry-go-round built on the foundation of the next conquest, constantly hoping that fulfillment lies over the next win.

A lust for making money vs a lust for making meaning out of your life.

The truth lies somewhere in between.  The truth of meaningful business and the realization of the worthy ideal of a product or service can be commingled with financial viability, and ultimately profitability.

The great mercenaries of business mature also in their process, recognizing that to ultimately feel an internal sense of accomplishment and fulfillment, they must also find a worthy ideal in their process.

Is it to show others the way, or to share profit with those who have less, or to uplift those that can not see what they see?  The great ones recognize they have a gift, and they begin to share it with those who were not so anointed.

Entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart.  It requires time, and runway of sorts, clarity, consistency, and a desire to evolve and grow.

Fundamentally, the hybrid stock of the metaphorical Mercenary and Missionary is the penultimate conclusion. Can one be rich in both fulfillment and wealth?  As Komisar’s book subtitle describes, “the art of creating life while making a living”.

I think it’s possible, how about you?

Six years ago I launched the Leave Your Mark podcast.  This week, we begin the 7th season, and drop the 365th Episode.

We are close to 800,000 downloads and counting.

Many years ago, when I was a teenager, I wanted to be a broadcaster.  I wanted to be a radio or TV talk show DJ.  One of my favorite shows growing up was the Phil Donahue Show, the show that started that genre of media, and kickstarted Oprah, and a host of other such icon’s careers.

After high school, I registered for a diploma program in Radio and Television Arts at a local college in my hometown.  I passed the pre-requisite exam and was all ready to start my journey when my father told me he preferred that I get a University degree.

Do I regret listening to my father…….

…….sometimes.

I feel like that was my true destiny, something that lived innately within me.

But, where my life went, what I experienced, and who I became are all things for which I am absolutely grateful.  My life and career have been amazing.

About eight or nine years ago, when I recognized that podcasting was a thing. It seemed a possible route for me to explore my original aspirations, I began to manifest the opportunity as a part of my yearly plan.

There was a lot of resistance!

I am fearful of technology, it’s not something that has ever come naturally to me, I really have to make efforts to overcome this resistance and feel safe in exploring any technology.

Podcasting represented this huge endeavor to overcome this resistance. For at least two years I kept making it one of my BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) in my yearly plan, and each year I summarized my failure to accomplish this goal as a disappointment.

Why could I not overcome this resistance?

One day, I ran into the podcast from London Real and the podcaster, Brian Rose.  He’s a controversial American turned London Brit who’s podcast has millions of DLs and many highly accomplished guests.

He was running a course called “Broadcast Yourself” designed to help those aspiring podcasters to overcome their own resistance.

After several months of deliberation, I pulled the trigger on the program in March of 2018.  Four weeks later, I dropped podcast number 1, and the rest is history.

I haven’t missed a week since starting it.  

Why?

Because I love it. It’s who I am.  It satisfies an inner passion that resonates within me.

That’s really what success is all about.  Exploring the passion within.

As I’ve written before in previous blog’s, I love the quote “Success is a progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”by Earl Nightingale.

The worthy ideal of helping people see the possibilities of life through the shared experience of our guests lives.  We often feel alone in life, wondering if the challenges we are experiencing are shared by anyone else.  

I wanted this podcast to help the listener feel like they are not alone.  I wanted them to feel like they were a part of a community of human beings with shared experiences in which they could resonate and feel empowered.

I hope this is what I have accomplished, and can continue to accomplish for as long as I am allowed.

Thanks for listening 😉 

Have you ever heard this folk story about Pedro the Fisherman?

Standing on the dock unloading his day’s catch, Pedro is interrupted by a foreign tourist admiring his haul.

The tourist asks him politely, “Is this your catch for the day, quite impressive!?”

Pedro responds, “Why yes, we had a very good day.”

The tourist, interested in knowing more, asks, “Do you do this well every day?”

Pedro answers, “Some days better, some days worse, but most of the time, we have more than we need for the village.”

The tourist then asks, “What will you do now that your day is done?”

Pedro proclaims, “I will take a nice walk on the pier with my beautiful wife and enjoy the sunset.”

The tourist then exclaims, “Imagine how much fish you could catch if you had two boats!”

Pedro, “Two boats? And then what would I do?”

Tourist, “Well, with all the fish you would catch, you could buy more boats, you’d have a fleet!”

Pedro, “And then what would I do?”

Tourist, “You could catch more and more fish, and eventually, you could build a cleaning and canning plant and produce your own product for export.”

Pedro, “Sounds like a lot of work, what would I do then?”

Tourist, “You could build a distribution program and sell your products all over the world!”

Pedro, “And then what would I do?”

Tourist, “Eventually, you could sell the whole thing and retire!”

Pedro, “And then?”

Tourist, “You could take wonderful walks on the pier with your wife and watch the sunset each night.”

Pedro, “Hum?” as he scratches his head and walks away into the sunset.

Is Pedro successful by the standards of our culture today?

Our culture is represented by the tourist.  The ambitious desire to have more, and more, but in the meantime, to be less and less present and connected to what matters now.

“Success is a progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” – Earl Nightingale.

For Pedro, the worthy ideal is the expression of his passion of being on the ocean each day, harvesting the fish, providing for his community and family, and enjoying the fruits of his labor with his wife each day.

Is the pursuit of a strong and successful business as the tourist would espouse not the pursuit of a worthy ideal?

The pursuit as an expression of a passion for the work, the creation of something that contributes to many, and supports the wellbeing of your fellow human could indeed be the pursuit of a worthy ideal.

But most often, as this tourist describes, the pursuit has less to do with contribution, and more to do with acquisition, accumulation, and an insatiable appetite for more.

Our responsibility on this earth is to be the best version of ourselves while we contribute to the greater good.  What legacy will we create that matters most.

How will we create something of value, make a difference to those around us, and allow us to be present in the process?

That is the question of purpose.

My friend Tony Blauer, one of the world’s foremost experts in self-defense and tactical defense systems coined a great acronym for FEAR.

F-alse E-expectations A-ppearing – R-eal

I found myself awake at 4 am, unable to go back to sleep.  Worrying about the possible implications of business decisions, the future of our lives, the impending economic doom and gloom.

These days, it’s getting harder to get away from it.

The noise, the chatter.

Everywhere you look; your in-box, your social channels, your streaming media, and good old fashioned TV, you can’t get away from the doomsayers.

It feels at times like the world is going to blow up, burn up,  flood, or just simply get too expensive to live in.

Personally, I think it’s all just the same as it always has been, it’s just amplified by all the noise, but that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to digest.

You can’t ignore it.  You can’t forget it exists.

But what you can do is realize that it is all just a story we are creating, and those who are writing, reporting, and posting about it are creating.

Stories can either serve you, or serve to constrain you or destroy you.

In previous posts, I’ve talked a lot about Story, and how it manifests. How everything we believe is just a form of story, and most of it has been served to us by our circle of influence over many, many year.

Worry, well that’s just a poor use of our imagination.

Our imagination is so powerful if we let it focus on what we can do rather than on what we can’t do, or what we feel could or might happen to us.

Do we need to have insurance for a rainy day?

It’s a good idea to have insurance to cover your important stuff, but once you’ve covered your important stuff (and one could question how much of it really is important!), the rest is just compensation for our FEAR.

So how do we stop this incessant worrying disorder that wakes us up at night, or keeps us up at night, or possesses our daily internal dialogue.

Replace it with stories that serve.  Imagine the possibilities. Imagine your outcome or the story you wish to live.

Imagining what’s possible, even if at the moment it seems impossible, can create a fracture in the glass ceiling.

We all have one, a ceiling we’ve created in our minds that holds us back, prevents us from reaching higher.  Simply allowing yourself to imagine more begins to push it higher.

Keep doing it in your formal or informal journaling and eventually you will crack it, break it, and reach higher.

There is no service in worrying.  There is no benefit in creating false expectations that appear real.  There are benefits to creating images of the beautiful possibilities.

So the next time you wake up thinking about the doom, shift your narrative to what’s possible, not the expectation of what’s probable because that’s just not real.  The negative is no more real than the positive.

The positive just serves to inspire and activate you, the negative just serves to anger and constrain you.

Don’t worry, be happy 😉 

Anthony Robbins, challenged by the constrained format of the TedTalk spoke for just over 20 minutes and described what we humans need quite succinctly.

In his words, there are six human needs.  

Four of these needs are the needs of the personality, and two are the needs of the spirit.  Put another way, one can likely infer that the needs of the personality are the needs of the ego.

The four needs of the personality are; certainty, uncertainty, significance, and connection.

Certainty is a quest for construct, a desire to know everything that will or could happen, control is the center of this person’s universe.

Uncertainty is the classic adrenaline junky, or the one addicted to drama.  These are the rules breakers, non-conformists, and the classic chaotic artist.

Significance is the person drawn to the title, the ultimate position, the power, material wealth, possessions, and status.  They are never satisfied with enough, because there is never enough.

Connection is the person who is in and out of romantic relationships, never being completely pinned down.  Or the person who knows everyone, but no one knows them.  They are obsessed with the connection, and not with the content of the connection.

Robbins describes all of these needs metaphorically as water buckets with a hole in the bottom.  You can pour as much “significance” or “certainty” into the bucket, but it will never be full.  The hole in the bottom makes it so.

Robbins goes on to infer that most of us are biased toward one or more of these needs as our focus of attention.

However, no matter how hard we try, no amount of these needs will bring fulfillment, no amount will seem satisfactory.

He describes the two other needs are the needs of the spirit.  

This is where the rubber meets the road of fulfillment.

These needs are growth and contribution.

Your intention and attention to growth are the great secrets of success.  Are you aware of how you are changing, are you creating and manifesting that change, or are you simply a passenger of change? Forced to accept the consequences of your actions or inactions versus the recognition of your creation.

The intentionality of growth and the self-reflection in its experience drives your sense of fulfillment.  

We are all here to experience and grow, are we writing our own story, or is the story written for us?

Ultimately, growth and growth alone can not bring a complete sense of fulfillment.  It’s growth within a community, organization, circle of influence, or family and your contribution to those who surround you that makes you whole.

We are nothing if we are alone.

The truth is, none of us can explore ourselves without the aid and assistance of others. The question is, are you cultivating those who surround you, or are they imposed upon you?  

Do you define your tribe, or is it that which you have been prescribed?

How are you creating your circle of influence and how are you in turn contributing within it?  Food for your thought.

How often have you come home from a vacation and said, “Wow, I need a vacation from my vacation!”

Truth is that this is far too often the case and there are two fundamental problems with this reality.

First up, why do people live lives where they feel like it is necessary to have a vacation where they completely go off the rails?

Shouldn’t life in general just be full of moments where we throw caution to the wind, and moments where we re-gather ourselves and prepare for the next adventure?

Why do people feel like they have to pack it all in to one or two weeks a year?

Secondly, why DO people loose it completely on vacation?

Why eat, drink, party, go over the top every single day and then fall down and go boom at the end? Only having to figure out how to recover once back at home?

Resonate with this experience at all?

The truth is that we get into this rat race called life where we have a limited bandwidth for establishing best practices that support success and fulfillment.

Wake up, hit the snooze button a few times, get up, go slam a big cup of coffee, eat a couple of pieces of toast, check social media, hammer out a couple of comments, get everything done that’s gotta get done before walking out the front door, move through the mass commute to the office, bang out a full day of work (could be another paragraph of points here!), maybe eat a lunch or a couple of crappy snacks during the day, drive back through the evening commute, scramble to create a tangible dinner, do more work not done during the day, invest more valuable time on social media, and then crash!

Or perhaps don’t crash but stay up thinking of things that need to get done or other useless or painful stuff, only to wake up to that pesky alarm again!

This story of life could be reproduced in many forms for parents, working mom’s or dad’s, stay at home mom’s or dad’s, the point is many are living lives of judgment, self judgment, judgment of friends, colleagues, or judgment of people unknown.

How busy are those guys? What trinkets they have, who do they hang out with, how many friends or followers do they have, judge or be judged? This approach to life, with little time allotted to personal well-being and best practices leads people to go overboard when they’re off the reserve so to speak!

So when someone goes on vacation, and effectively reproduces the same life only replacing work with over the top play, all-you-can-eat buffets, open bars, and nights that end when the sun is rising, or if kids are involved, when the kids are going to bed!

In one instance they’re up all night, in the other, they’re sleeping way too long, but probably being woken up multiple times by the kids, or by their bladder!

Vacation should fundamentally be about changing venue. The chance to live life in a new place, see new things, feel new feelings, and experience other cultures or opportunities.

If you have established tried and true structures and traditions in your life that act as the foundation on which you can thrive, then these foundations should be linked in to your vacation.

Eating well (especially now that you’ve eliminated that age old excuse of “I have no time to cook” and experimenting with new recipes and new combinations of food in order to refine a healthy regime would be one of the most effective and valuable elements of a vacation.

Getting various exercise experiences into every day would help you stay in a good place energy wise and help you recover from the day to day stresses of life, and on vacation you can try all kinds of new things, whether its hiking, walking, biking, you can use it to see new things and transport you throughout your journey.

It doesn’t have to be a gym where you train, the great outdoors will serve you well, and now you have even more time than normal to plan and integrate other experiences into the mix.

The chance to journal and reflect on life each day, something that is a great personal practice for anyone who wants to thrive in life, is an excellent component of a vacation when you once again have maybe just a little more time to engage in such thought.

But the true life lesson here is that if these cornerstone elements of life are a part of your day-to-day, they should be a part of your day-to-day on vacation. And if they are not part of your day-to-day, then a vacation may be an excellent place to start.

When you bring these practices on vacation or introduce them into your life while on vacation, you can use that unloaded time to invest in raising the quality of your dialogue and your efforts so that your program for success is established or becomes even sharper when you return. Instead of feeling like you need to recover from your holiday, make the vacation take you to the next level!

BTW, I am on vacation right now!