I know not how much time I have left, but that time will be spent with those I love for those that matter, including me.

Recently, I took the afternoon with my wife to go to a local spa and just give ourselves two hours of recovery time and connection. Time for me to be still.

We work hard just like everyone else. We needed that time.

We didn’t need to talk, we just took time together, held hands and hugged, and let our minds wander in our stillness.

You see, it’s in the stillness that we find our truth, when we let our mind wander and observe and listen.

Scary you say?

Yes, it can be, your mind loves to live in the negative, but at the same time, if you just give your mind the time to unwind the ball of yarn, quite often you’ll see and hear the solutions you need, or the truth you need to recognize.

We clutter our lives with things to do, projects to complete, useless conversations, media of every sort.  

When do you allow your mind to just run free?  

I liken it to having more and more tabs open and programs running on your computer, eventually you begin to notice how slow it’s running, it glitches, or downright crashes!

Stillness, internal conversation, and even boredom are necessary “reboots” for your brain, just like quality sleep.  

But if you always ignore or avoid this stillness, you avoid the freedom it can ignite to really explore yourself and what is truly possible within you.

These last few years, I’ve been running a program, on my own, and Jaime and I run one together, to help people do better for themselves.

I’ve been struck by just how hard it is to get people, especially those in human performance, to actually take the time to take care of themselves.  Even an hour a week seems an inordinate amount of time to simply dedicate to you.

It’s not a judgment, but an observation, a conundrum of sorts.

Here we rest in a field dedicated to supporting the high performance of others, and yet we struggle with doing right by ourselves.  

Even if you aren’t in the field of human performance, it’s not unusual for most people to just not do right by themselves.

We won’t give ourselves permission, and by covert inference, we eliminate it from all those who matter most around us.

Our health suffers, our families suffer, and we suffer silently.

Seems like mental health is a daily conversation these days. But the secret doesn’t reside in mico-manging the outcomes of our lives, but in the day-to-day dedication to doing right by us and by those who matter.

Despite all the strategies, books, and programs that exist, sometimes it’s just the simple gift to yourself that will make the real difference.

A daily dose of stillness, a weekly moment alone, a monthly spa day, these are all just opportunities to let your mind go free, and in turn give it the rest and reboot it needs to succeed.

You deserve it.

A river is a beautiful and natural example of the power of structure and flow.  In order for the water to produce change and drive growth of the many elements of nature that depend on it’s power, it must constantly be moving.

But without the structure of the banks, the rocks and the natural terrain on which the water moves, it would remain a stagnant pool, and eventually dry up from the power of the sun and wind.

The structure and the flow dynamics create the successful outcome.

But this ideal doesn’t just exist in nature as we experience it.  Structure and flow dynamics are an essential part of the success of any human being’s journey in life.

Structures and traditions in life are anchor points that you can push off from, and land on, each time you take a risk, reach higher, try something new, or just get after it!

That being said, everyone needs differing amounts of “flux” or “flow” in their life so that they feel alive. The same thing day after day becomes mundane and empty, so injecting moments of opportunity, change, and adrenaline rush into your life can expose the possibilities, and overcome inertia.

Everyone has a different threshold for how challenging or off the hook such experiences need to be to keep life stimulating, that’s for you to expose, but exploring and experiencing is the key to knowing what works and what doesn’t. 

Avoiding serves no purpose.

That said, you need a grounding point, a foundation from which to fly and these grounding points rest in the type of structures and traditions that you hold true and honour in your life regularly.

Perhaps its beginning the day with the newspaper, checking your social media, journaling, or waking up to a hot cup of coffee or a tea. 

Or, maybe it’s finishing the day by counting your wins, a good stretch session, or a great conversation with your partner, these structures provide us with rest stops and points to ponder or simply be empty of thought. 

These structures create points of embarkation for the next adventure you might choose.

Traditions like bringing the entire family together for Sunday dinner, booking a vacation in the same location each year on the same dates, talking on the phone once a week with distant loved ones, or gathering the clan for special holidays are strong anchors that keep the family and those you care about close and connected.

Its important to determine which structures and traditions in your life bring you a sense of foundation. 

If the opportunity to sit for dinner with your partner and children (if you have them) allows you to feel better connected to them, then ensure that this part of your life remains steadfast. 

If journaling on a daily basis creates clarity for you, then make this a sacred pastime. The better you understand your fundamental foundation for success, the more you will thrive when you know your foundation is solid.

However, when structures and traditions in your life are interrupted don’t panic. Realize that this too is part of life, there will be moments when our foundation elements must be re-patterned or revised, go with it, not against it. 

Experience it, evaluate it, and see if there is anything that comes of your new day that perhaps might be incorporated in your program.

Experimentation creates reflection, learning and revision. That’s how we get better and better.

Whatever your traditions, identify them and honour them as they will provide you with the foundation from which to fly!

Do you struggle with this idea of knowing your purpose?

Like many, maybe the thought of it makes you frustrated because you can’t describe it, or name it?

Or maybe you’re like a precious few who just seem to “know”.

I guess the biggest issue either way is this sense that it is a thing……..a noun……this is my “Purpose”.

But purpose is not a noun, it’s a verb, it’s a way of being, doing, acting, exploring, creating, manifesting.

It’s not stationary, a destination, or a point of embarkation……it’s constant, evolving, and empowering.

It’s a compass that directs you, but not a map that confines you.

On the podcast I routinely share from a book I picked up many years ago now called “The Day You Were Born”. It’s written by a woman by the name of Linda Joyce.  I’ve actually interviewed her in one of my early episodes.

Linda is an astrologer and despite what you might think of astrology, she’s made a career out of exploring it, and in this book she artfully integrates her astrology practice with the practice of numerology.

The reason I bought the book (I’ve told this story a bunch of times on the podcast, so if you’ve heard it you can skip the next few lines) was that when I started perusing the book at a store one day back in 2001, I flipped to the section on Sagatarius, and found Sag 3, (I am born on December 3rd, but it can also be the combination of 12, 21, or 30) and I started to read it.

Linda always starts with a description of your purpose.  Then she includes just after the purpose description, a quote.

My favorite quote has always been, “Some men see things as they are and ask, Why? I dream things that never were, and say, Why not?” It was originally spoken by the author George Bernard Shaw, but Bobby Kennedy made it famous as his own.

I love the possibility of that quote.  The purpose it infers.

And that was the quote she connected to Sag 3…….Wow!

I was floored, how could this be? I had that exact quote taped to the top of my desktop computer, what are the chances?!

So I re-read the purpose (which I had already been struck by).

“To use your courage, strength, and perseverance to go beyond the limitations of the thoughts and ideas of those in power, creating your own unique beliefs that challenge the old and uplift the spirits of those who meet you.”

Gives me chills just to write it again.

It’s been the way of me for as long as I can remember.  I always see the possibility of change, how can it be done better, what is the opportunity?  My father told me he thought I was like a turtle, slowly, steadily making my world (persevering).  

I absolutely love how it expresses my purpose. Like I said at the beginning, it’s not a destination or a thing, it’s an abstract expression of being.  How I deport myself, what I move towards, what I mean to create, it’s all about sharing my unique beliefs so that others can be inspired.

Linda then goes on to describe what it is to be and live this purpose, what it feels and looks like. She uses stories to explore each character.  She even gets into what the personality expression might be if it is driven from ego or from spirit, and she aligns with characters of history (mine were Winston Churchill and Mark Twain).

I share these with the guests on the LYM podcast, and I have to say that 8 times out of 10 the person is literally dumbfounded.  They can’t believe the synergy with their life and spirit.

Now I don’t for one moment believe this is the ultimate truth, it’s really just an expression of the human spirit and all that influences “who” we are and “who” we become.

But what I do love about it as a starting point is the essence of it’s meaning. It’s not a purpose, like some defined thing you are meant to do, become, or have. It’s a way of living your life.

How do you feel you should be carrying yourself? What means something to you? What do you care about? Who do you care about?

The more you explore the values you wish to expose, the way you wish to be interpreted, and the meaning of your work, how you wish to be remembered, the closer you will be to knowing your purpose.

Wishing you your greatest gift.

I recently heard a quote, shared by a colleague, from Kirby Smart, the Head Coach of the Georgia Bulldog’s football team.

He was holding a press conference, and he began by saying that there is a great deal of education and literature available in the area of leadership.  

But he wanted to expose an area that he’s rarely seen written about.  

The dark side of leadership. The human cost of being a leader.

He shared these three truths of the dark side that I thought were extremely valuable and thought provoking.  

When you find yourself in a leadership role:

1 – You will have to make hard decisions that negatively affect people you care about

2 – You will be disliked despite your best attempt to do the best for the most

3 – You will be misunderstood and you won’t always be able to have a chance to explain yourself

Ultimately, leadership is a lonely place.  

Those in leadership roles don’t always realize until they are stationed in such positions, or find themself being looked towards for leadership, that this dark side exists.

You can establish feedback mechanisms, opportunity for those you lead to provide insight and viewpoint, but ultimately you need to make the decisions that count.

I heard another quote from Pittsburgh Steeler Head Coach Mike Tomlin recently, when asked by a sideline reporter; who does he go to for trust and advice when adversity hits his locker room?  

He said, “Increasingly over the years, No one. As long as I’ve been in this job and the longer that I continue to be in this job, I’ve learned that leadership is a lonely thing. People can make suggestions, but I make the decisions and I get compensated to tow the load.”

What I infer in this quote is a sense that he most likely does “hear” and “take” feedback and viewpoint, but ultimately, he has to make the decision based on a number of factors that not everyone in his circle of influence is privy to, or understands.

He has to make the decisions even though he knows not everyone will agree with him, or like what he decides. He has accepted that fate.

Ultimately, the great leaders surround themselves with good people they can trust to make good decisions on their behalf, but even good people make mistakes, or do the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it costs the organization or the team.

Real leadership means you don’t defer the responsibility, you take the responsibility. As Coach Tomlin says, you are likely being compensated for just that responsibility. But taking responsibility might also mean releasing or reprimanding someone who made a mistake.

Being in a leadership position doesn’t make it easy, or comfortable to have to reprimand or perhaps even fire someone you have come to trust and value because the situation calls for such a decision.

Ultimately we all hope that others respect us when we lead, but we also need to become clear that respect and being liked are not the same thing.  You hope to be respected for how you carry yourself, how you take responsibility, and how you carry out your mission.  

But not everyone will like you, or like your decisions.

As coach Smart so eloquently acknowledges in his third observation, you won’t always get a chance to explain yourself.  

It takes time, requires context and often a large amount of “data” to clearly understand or explain a decision, and most leaders don’t get the time or opportunity to share this information. 

In many instances, even if they were granted the time and attention, they could not reveal certain facts as such revelation might cause harm or be misconstrued.

Better sometimes to just grin and bear it.

Leadership is not for the faint of heart, and it requires a thick skin.  Leadership is hard.

When you decide to rise to the responsibility of leadership, recognize there will be much reward, but there will be equal or greater discomfort.

Leadership has its privileges, and its pain.

I wondered about it recently, the source of so much suffering and conflict in the world today.

What is it?

I’ve always been a “Why?” guy.  What is the reason for the outcome we are experiencing?  Why is this happening in the first place?

The intention of all the great religions of humanity is to bring people together, to provide a moral compass, to build community, and to support one another in difficulty.  

The pursuit of a worthy ideal without question.

Capitalism or socialism?  

In one we find the essence of growth, prosperity and equal opportunity, on the other a sense of community, care of our fellow human, and a shared sense of purpose.  

Again, the pursuit of a worthy ideal.

Liberal or conservative.  One seeking individual expression, self-exploration, and unbridled opportunity, the other wishing for shared values, anchoring beliefs, and the notion that there is strength in what has been.

Nothing wrong with such intentions.

Where it all seems to go wrong is when the central driver of such belief systems rests in the notion of power.

What is power?  

Effectively it’s control, control of current and future circumstances.  The notion that when one has power, one can control destiny and outcome.

Why is it important?

Well, that’s when we get to the true “Why” proposition.

Fear of the ultimate outcome. Fear of death.

Neuroscience tells us that the thinking brain grew up after the limbic brain. The limbic brain’s main purpose is to recognize threats, and keep us safe.  

The limbic mind is the prime directive.

Our cognitive mind, the thinking mind, has grown to be capable of overriding the limbic response or reaction, but that requires practice, patience, preparation, and a lot of self-realization.

With all that overwhelms us daily on this planet, all that demands our attention, our cognitive brains can be fooled, overloaded, out whited, and constantly over-thinking.

When that happens, the limbic brain takes over, drives us towards things that we perceive as safe, and so our belief systems, our religions, politics, and philosophies become our protection.

We find power in the notion that we are right and they are wrong, we are better and they are worse, we belong and they do not.

Power is false prophecy.  It’s the notion of control.

If we can control the outcome, maybe we can control the ultimate outcome?

Not happening.

All the richest, the most powerful, the best, the greatest, the wealthiest, they all live and die.  No one has ever controlled that outcome.

Power may provide the powerful with some transient or even sustained belief that they have control, but unfortunately, one day it will be lost.  In the meantime what is the cost?

The cost of isolation, fear mongering, imposition upon another, judgment, and constant comparison.

Power is us versus them, me versus you, one versus another.

Power is always looking behind you, while you pine for what may come.  There is no presence in power, only fear of loss of power.

Can we dispense with power?  Not likely, it has existed since humanity has existed.  Unfortunately it’s part of the nature of being.

So how do we combat this nature?

I would suggest we spend more time on how we live now than what we have or seek to gain in the future.  All we really have is this moment, so how can we actually be in it?

Finding ways to allow our cognitive brains the availability to manage our limbic brains.  Reducing distraction, stress, overwhelm, and fatigue allows our cognitive brain to have a chance.

A chance to see the worthy ideal in our belief systems, and not the power and imposition born of fear.

Can we focus on what we have, not on what we have not?

Presence is true power.  The power to touch, feel, taste, smell, hear, and see are the senses we were blessed with so that we would find value in each moment.

Touch the people you love

Taste the food you cultivate

Smell the air you breath

Hear the sounds all around you

See the incredible views

It all sounds cliche until you actually lean in.  We spend so much time missing the time that passes, hoping for the time that will come. Wishing we were somehow more powerful, so we could control the uncontrollable.

What a waste.

Working in the world of high-performance sports, one of the most crucial elements of the success of a high-performance environment is the level of respect in the room.

Respect is an interesting concept as it carries two sides; how you respect others, and how you respect yourself.

In some instances today, respect is a lost art. As we’ve gotten more and more distracted and influenced by different forms of media we’ve slowly lost a sense of respect for ourselves and for those we interact with every day.

Something as simple as listening attentively to the person you are interacting with, and actively engaging in your conversation is evaporating right before our very eyes these days. People today are more apt to be focused on their phone, or diverted by their phone when something or someone far more important is sending them a message.

I am old enough to remember when the cellular phone became a reality in our lives and I swore then that I would never have one because I was so disappointed in the way it distracted people from the people who were right there in front of them! 

Though I too have become a “user” of the technology, I find myself realizing more often how much it has contributed to my disrespect of those who have chosen my company.  I have become one of them!

Things like opening the door for someone else, waiting your turn for the opportunity to get on a train, or letting someone take their bag off the luggage carousel before you are just simple manifestations of respect that seem to have disappeared from people’s functional vocabulary.

One of the most interesting expressions of self-respect is how you carry yourself, your demeanor, your dress, and even how you walk. It’s fascinating to watch old movies or documentaries and to see how people carried themselves and dressed only 40–50 years ago. 

Men wouldn’t walk out of the house without a collared shirt on, thus the adage blue-collar and white-collar work. 

Women were always well appointed, hair done, dressed well, and never to leave the home unprepared. 

Nowadays people regularly wear sweatpants out on a date qualifying as “Athleisure” wear which it turns out is more than acceptable, even fashionable.

Now I’m not saying we all need to get back to being all buttoned up, but the bottom line here is we’ve been progressing along a slippery slope towards less and less respect for our personal appearance, respect for ourselves, and respect for those around us, and with whom we work.

Respect starts with us, how we carry ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and especially with how we treat others. As goes one of the most fundamental values of every religion in the world, do unto others as you would have done unto you. We’ve begun to lose sight of this fundamental value, slowly being eroded by the entropy of social influence.

We all need to take a moment and take stock of how we carry ourselves. 

Are we taking the time to listen to those with whom we interact? 

Are we being patient with people? 

Are we giving them the benefit of the doubt? Are we practicing empathy and understanding that we don’t really know what has occurred to this person on this day before we interacted with them? 

And if we are distracted by things that in some instances are more important, do we take the time to apologize for being distracted, or do we just expect that people will understand?

Those wonderful words; please, thank you, may I, sorry, these words go a long way in displaying a true sense of respect for our fellow human beings, and even though they take little or no effort to employ, it seems we are less and less apt to use them.

So when you wake up tomorrow, maybe take the time to require yourself that you get ready for your day, bring a sharpness to the way you carry yourself, look people in the eye when you speak with them, take the time to listen to them, and be cordial in the manner in which you speak. 

You might find that these random acts of respect generate reciprocity, and when they don’t, just let it be their loss, not yours!

Respect for ourselves and respect for our fellow human beings is a fundamental premise of human relations, it’s one of those core elements in building a culture of success.

Try it, you might like it 😉 

Working in the world of human performance where athletes try to set world records, beat and compete with the best, and challenge for championships has given me a unique perspective.

Just like in every other domain of life, in sport there are disagreements, misunderstandings, arguments about what happened, who did what to who, and what should or should not have been done.

Short of the accuracy of timing, or the ball crossing the goal line (and even those sometimes have photo finishes or instant replays to settle the score), in most instances what happened is all a matter of perspective. What you saw, or the coach saw, or the opposition saw or heard for that matter, is all framed in a perspective born of bias, and of memory.

All of us have grown up whether we want to admit it or not with certain social biases driven from our experiences throughout our lives, and driven by the opinions and biases of people we looked up to as we grew up. In some instances we simply adopted, adapted, or accepted those biases as our own, leaning towards the same viewpoint as our parents.

For instance, if our parents were bigots, then quite often we accepted those thoughts as real and true…..inarguable.

Alternatively, we might have decided that what our parents thought, or our grandparents or our teacher’s thought was malarkey. 

We made our own decision that we would not be swayed by their bias and so we adopted the opposite perspective, another viewpoint so to speak. Was it the right viewpoint? Were our parents wrong, or were they just seeing things from the eyes of their own biased perspective?

When we add to this that much recent research in the area of memory has revealed that our subconscious mind likes to colour or functionally replace information we may not have seen or experienced in order to complete the stories we recall. 

Considering this we begin to understand that there is very limited certainty in most discussions or arguments, just shades of gray biased by perspective.

The fallibility of our recollection has been challenged so much so that eyewitness testimony, which for so long was considered the key to establishing doubt or certainty in a court case, is often no longer admissible or considered relevant in a court of law.

So if we realize that in any given situation in which there is disagreement, there will always be bias and discrepancy in recollection, we start out knowing that we may be wrong. If we start with that baseline, then our challenge becomes an opportunity to learn, instead of denying.

How do we learn? How do we open our eyes to other perspectives? How do we challenge our recollection or bias?

We listen.

Yep, that’s it! We listen intentionally, with a true desire to understand what another person is saying, even when they are not doing a great job of listening themselves. We put away our desire to be right, to know the answer, or to put them in their place, and we just listen.

Then we ask questions.

Yep, before you start telling the other person what has been festering in your mind and needs to get out. What you believe to be the solution, or the correct answer, take some time to ask questions about how that person got to that place in their mind. 

Don’t tell them what you think, listen to why they think the way they think. Listen and understand their viewpoint and even when you disagree with it vehemently, recognize that it comes from a place of bias and uncertainty in them as well.

Empathy is the most valuable emotional center point for any discussion. Doing our best to understand the other person should be our goal every time. Recognize that they may be coming from a negative space, or a different world of experience that is clouding or freeing their recollection.

Finally, recognize our own state of mind when we enter into such discussion. Our state of mind clouds our viewpoint and often challenges our ability to think and express ourselves clearly. If we are amped up because of a challenging day at work, or something has us in a place of negativity, then our opinions will be coloured once more by our mind’s eye.

An emotional triad worth considering every time you perhaps disagree with someone else’s perspective is first be kind to yourself and understand where your mind is coming from, then recognize that the person across from you has their own bias and state of mind, and finally recognize that no one, not you, nor the person you are talking to knows anything with total certainty. 

Practicing this triad when connecting with others will often bring a sense of calm and kindness often missing in communication today.

Yes, You may never be right again, but that’s ok!

Hello, 60!

Wow, it’s really here, 60 trips around the sun have been incredible.

All the things I’ve seen and done in 60 years, crazy!

I was born December 3rd, 1963, just days after John F. Kennedy was assassinated.  It’s an event that has always intrigued me, maybe because my angel was coming down while his had just risen?

The 60s were a tumultuous time, Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated as well, Malcolm X, and Jimmy Hoffa disappeared!?  And the Vietnam War was a fixture of the times surrounded by the hippy-counter-culture.

Canada wasn’t quite so intense.  

Born in Ottawa, I was adopted by my parents and soon after found myself in Singapore, the new son of a neophyte diplomat and his fish out of water wife (she didn’t love the foreign service).

Back to Canada in the late 60s, adjusting to the snow with my new adopted brother.

The late 60s early 70s began with Man on the Moon!  One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind!

We moved to England, my father’s diplomatic career in high gear, my mother’s unhappiness in full view.

Then the wheels fell off at the Watergate hotel, and so too in my parents’ marriage.

By my 16th birthday I was the man of the house, and I grew up fast, my brother didn’t. He struggled.

Everything blew up, and the only thing holding me on the ground was playing football and the deep connection with friends.

I loved music and conversation, and at one point I thought I might become a radio talk show DJ, but that dream got shelved, not something my father wanted for me…….

So, I fell into Athletic Therapy, Strength and Conditioning too…..who knew either of these things we even professions when I was a kid. Someone just taped my ankles and when they got sprained, I iced them until I could run again!

And thus began an incredible career, never contemplated, always inspiring.

I’ve seen a lot of stuff in my 60 years

• Man on the moon
• Canada vs Russia – Paul Henderson and the boys!
• More PM’s than I can count and 11 Presidents
• The Home Computer and the Laptop
• Elvis, Lennon, Jackson, and too many others too early
• Regan, Princess Diana, OJ
• 9/11
• The Cordless Phone and the answering machine
• Vinyl, tape, cassettes, 8-track, DVDs, and Digital
• Rabbit ears, cable, satellite, 1000 channels, streaming
• The Internet, Google, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.!
• Too many wars
• Pin-ball, Pong, Super Mario, Video Gaming
• The cellular phone
• The iPod, iPhone, iPad, I can’t imagine!
• All the Super Bowls and the halftime shows!
• Many Grey Cups (been around longer than the Super Bowl)
• Hockey Dynasty: Bruins, Canadiens, Flyers, Islanders, Oilers, Devils, Penguins, Red Wings, Avalanche, Black Hawks, Kings, Lightening.
• Orr, Lafleur, Gretzky, Lemieux, Crosby, McDavid
• And the list goes on……..

My career really began in 1988, 35 years ago I became a certified Athletic Therapist, and shortly after a certified strength and conditioning coach.

I created my own job at Concordia University as the first full time hire as an S+C coach in Canada.  It really wasn’t a thing back then.  A few people in Olympic sport, but few and far between.

I’ve seen it all blow up in Canada over the course of the last 30 years. It’s really quite incredible to see where the world of human performance has gone in such a short time, but then again, so has the world in general.

In my time, I’ve traveled the world, and seen many interesting places and things.  I’ve been to several Olympic Games, World Cup races, cities, arenas, and fields.

I’ve been blessed to work with some of the world’s greatest athletes, doing things that are just so unimaginable, and doing it with grace, power, and speed! (it really is something incredible to see the best of the best do what they do best, what an honor!).

I’ve seen triumph and despair……I’ve seen it all, been at the bottom looking up, and the top looking over it all.

I am blessed to have worked with incredible people, and to have so many really good friends who matter to me, I hope they know how much.

But the best things that ever happened to me…..meeting my best friend and partner, Jaime, and having our incredible daughter Gretchen. 

The last 20 years of my 60 so far have been the best, and I have no doubt there is more amazing stuff to come.

Now my intention is to give back as much as I can, help others reach higher, and use all 60 years of experience to provide insight to those who care to listen.

“Some men see things as they are, and say why? I dream things that never were and say, why not?” RFK

Have you ever heard that saying, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win”?

The essence of that saying is that if you want to be great at something, you need to be committed, consistent, and relentless.

It’s not really about how “hard” you work, but how long you are willing to wait.

That’s the mistake that many people make, they think working hard is the solution, but working hard is not truly possible to do consistently and continuously.  In the training world we talk about the idea of intensity versus volume.

Intensity is sexy, it’s explosive, it’s high demand…..it makes a statement, but it’s impossible to sustain.

Volume on the other hand, is far more elusive.  You can fill a bucket of water one drop at a time, or you can fill it with a fire hose, bottom line is that it can only be filled so high before it overflows.

So the secret sauce of success is the simple application of the always doing, never completely stopping, just keep moving monotony of consistency.

When you speak to those who have had great success, and by success, I mean that they are recognized for doing something really well, being the very best, or at least approaching that impression.

When you speak with them, or to those who have supported them or observed them intentionally, the same things are always mentioned;

Desire to do what it takes

Attention to detail

Consistent repetition

Adapting to feedback

Intentional practice

Intentional recovery

Sacrifice

Success….this type of success……isn’t sexy.

Maybe the outcome looks sexy.

There may be fame or fortune in some instances, but that’s really all medium dependent.  

Some of the best teachers in the world aren’t on the cover of Rolling Stone or Vogue magazine, but their students remember them years and years after they’ve been touched by their greatness.

You probably don’t know the best policeman(woman) or fireman(woman) in your town, but you will most surely appreciate their presence in a moment of crisis.

The truth is, arriving at being the best is about your internal desire to explore what’s possible within you through the never ending process of growth.  

You can let off the gas pedal, you just can’t let go completely, otherwise you’ll stop moving. 

Momentum serves to push us through the bumps and potholes of life, but when we stop moving, it’s an awfully difficult thing to get moving again.

Build consistent habits and practices that serve you, don’t stop moving, give yourself permission to slow down, but just don’t stop.  That’s the secret to greatness.

It’s not sexy, but it’s the truth.

Every day is a new day.

Some roll out without a hitch.

Some start well and for some unknown reason go sideways on us.

Some are just dreadful from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.

Not much we can do to change this right? We’re stuck with what happens each day, it’s just a matter of fate and circumstance, no?

Truth is that the day or even parts of each day don’t have to be determined by any particular moment of negative contemplation. Rather they can be re-framed by our perspective.

Our experiences in life drive our perspective and in turn our behaviors.

If something has happened to us in the past and resulted in a certain outcome, our brain likes to categorize that outcome, prescribe a reaction, and keep it for the next time it happens again, or worse, when it perceives it might happen again.

Yep, that beautiful brain of ours likes to predict so it can be prepared, so given free reign, it’s often likely to choose the path of least resistance.

Stay home, turtle, get out of the way, fold, or maybe just have a temper tantrum and storm away!

Much of the time, a bad day, or a bad part of the day will get defined by the way we frame the information, the way things are interpreted. We define things as binary, good and bad, happy or sad, up or down. Truth be told there is far more gray and far less definition in each moment.

But because of this nature, the outset, or the outcome of certain moments in our day can actually define our day and make it all look and feel far worse than it has been or will actually be!

What if I were to tell you that there are a few ways we can change our frame of mind and as a result, move the needle far more towards positive than negative?

Yes, it’s true, and the things you need to do are really simple, straightforward, and easy to implement.

What? Seriously?

Yep!

There are three techniques you can use, one starts your day, the second one can be used any time you start to feel a sense of negative energy welling up inside you, and the last one ends your day.

1 — Start Your Day with Intention

At the beginning of each day set one intention for your day. Intentions are objectives that are aligned with the person you wish to be and as such, they aren’t meant to be a part of a to-do list.

Intentions have meaning, they are connected to a feeling, the feeling of being a better person.

So, in the beginning of this process of re-framing your day, don’t be too hard on yourself and pick ten intentions you wish to make true, or even stress yourself with how deeply this question needs to be considered.

Simply take a moment to think of things that make you smile inside, things that make you feel warmer, happier, more connected to others, better about yourself, or simply calm you down. Make a list of all these things, chances are, they align with your spirit, and if they do, they reflect the image of you.

Now, just make sure that your daily intention is on that list, and get it done.

By simply setting this intention, you will feel better about your day, and you will be more connected to the intention of your day. When you get better at this process, when you know yourself, even more, you can begin to set more intentions at the beginning of each day that align with you, and your days will become even more powerful.

2 — End Your Day By Counting Your Wins

Just before you go to bed each night, take a moment to count your wins for the day. What were a few of the things you accomplished today? What were a few of the things you felt really good about experiencing? What were some of the things you did that align with you?

Make sure you write down the one intention you accomplished so you ponder your connection to that feeling especially.

The more these wins are connected to your intentions over time, the more powerful they will become.

Why?

Well first off, by just simply counting your wins you are creating a forced moment of positivity in your day. By doing it at the end of the day, your brain will recognize the positive energy and move you to a calmer place, and thus more likely a place where you will sleep more deeply. Good sleep equals a greater chance of waking up on the right side of the bed the next day.

So, counting your wins at the end of the day sets the course of your mindset towards a better start tomorrow.

But if your wins are connected to your true intentions, and your intentions are connected to the person you wish to be, well then all of this becomes just that much more powerful. The positive energy you will begin to feel over time will overcome most any negative kink in your day.

The accomplishment of each intention throughout each day will serve to re-fill this positive state and you will begin to become far more aware of your progress and intentional state of mind.

You will begin to own your day!

3 — Re-Shape Your Day By Minding the Gap

The third technique is not necessary every day, but rather a great strategy for cutting a slip in humor from becoming a landslide into the abyss. No matter what we do, there will be days when things happen, and we won’t always react well, and when these happen, our brain likes to ramp up quickly.

When you feel that negative self-talk begins to ramp up and that sense that things are going sideways, take a few moments to reflect. This might not work in the heat of the moment, but if you start to become more aware of when the energy of the day is moving you towards the heat, take a time out and reflect on where you’ve come from, what you’ve accomplished recently, or even over the past year or more.

Minding the Gap is an act of reflection that helps you gain perspective on your life in general. We get very much stuck in time. Stuck in the state of mind of today, or this moment and that state drive our perspective moving forward.

Instead, take some time to look back at where you’ve come from, where were you a year ago, a month ago, a week ago. What have you been able to do that you’ve completely forgotten about, something that is actually far more important than this little crisis today?

This technique is especially powerful when you have become more connected to your intentions and you are living them daily. Minding the gap will allow you to really reflect on how much you’ve gained through connecting with who you are and being more intentional about delivering it every day. This is a truly empowering experience.

1-Set your intentions

2-Mind the gap

3-Count your wins

Daily practices that will change your frame of mind and set you on a course towards a better you!